I watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade out of morbid curiosity. I didn’t want to miss seeing a rabid Pokemon Pikachu break free from the ropes of oppression and crush unsuspecting onlookers. I have never enjoyed parades, they have always seemed militaristic to me. I am frightened by masses of people simultaneously enacting choreographed precision movements. The Rockettes give me the creeps. I imagine that they are drugged or at least hypnotized and once the music stops they will open up on the placated crowd with semi automatic UN issue weaponry smuggled in from the East.
At this year’s parade the constant barrage of corporate sponsorship was more frightening than the robotic cheerleading and the marching Tuba band. Each float seemed to be accompanied with either a lip-synching corporate shill or corporate shill commentary. I only had the tube on for about 15 minutes and I think I was implored to buy or at least think about a dozen different brands before I turned the damn thing off.
Sarah McLachlan, who I stopped listening to once I got over teenage angst, was paying the bills by warbling the sad theme song from a remake of
-Wow! Here comes Snoopy a Macy’s Parade favorite.
-I don’t see him anywhere.
-You might not be able to see him yet but I know he’s coming because he texted me on his new Razor phone available at Wal-mart at the low, low price of $129, plan included.
-That’s amazing!
-Here comes Ecko’s float titled Expedition to
-Did you know that Rhino’s might be an endangered species?
-Yeah they are pretty hard to find. But not as hard to find as am LG plasma TV.
-Better run out and get one now before they are all gone.
I am going to run out and get a subscription to Adbusters, use CM skip on the DVR as much as I can and try recover.
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