Celebrity Containment

Last night, during a melatonin induced slumber, I dreamt of a US media outlet operating under a no-celeb news policy. An early morning check of my email inbox revealed that my dream has a small chance of coming true. According to Mediabistro.com, the AP will no longer run stories on Paris Hilton unless they are in someway connected to actual salient news- in short, no Paris. I followed the link to the parent article and was delighted to find that this was true. Finally after having to endure her foolish antics for what seems like eons the informed news reader can enjoy publications that are Paris-free. One can only hope that this trend will catch on and other outlets will relegate celebrity photos, gossip and reportage to the celebrity rags, tabloids and back pages where they belong.

I try to avoid frivolous news items but in a society in which image is rapidly replacing substance it is hard to keep news of Britney, Paris and Anna out of my head. On the subway I overhear discussions, based on news reports, about the tragic plights of starlets, singer/video porn stars and socialites. Web portals blast you with star stories as you try to log on. TV news always manages to sneak in a celeb quickie. News stand covers are littered with their manufactured images and the images of those lesser beings who strive to emulate them in their notoriety. I find it upsetting that I have to even consider their existences in spite of the fact that I go out of my way to avoid knowledge of them.

My upset turns to the underpinnings of paranoia as I try to imagine those who benefit from this sad situation. Certainly, the magazine industry and journalists (there should be another name for celeb reporters as “journalist” has too much of an air of respectability) fare well. The writers save time on editing, fact checking, gathering real sources because there is no need for any of that with the tripe they produce. The magazines have and endless supply of fodder. Celebs, being human, are always doing something and everything they do is interesting even getting a coffee, doubly so if it will convince us to buy that same coffee. For the larger entertainment industry it is all free publicity, even bad PR is good PR. Of course some of it is just indulgence of morbid public curiosity, which says much about or society. But how much exposure do we need? How much real news are we missing out on while we read daily reports of Anna’s decomposing body or Britney’s shaved head?

I can’t help but think there is some evil intent behind it all. I am not good at cooking up conspiracy theories and I can’t think of any one group evil enough to pin it on. I’ll just do what I always do- blame in on Cheney, a man villainous enough to shoulder the blame for all that is soulless and wrong.

Anyway, in my dream I saw myself at a local magazine store standing in front of an expansive rack of periodicals. There was not a celebrity in sight. The publications were full of news and the people around me were engrossed in intelligent discourse about what they had read and what they were going to do about it. Publishers, politicians, pundits, PR flack, admen and the like were fretting around the periphery fearing for their livelihoods and then I lost my digital camera, the one that I got for Xmas two years ago. Yeah, its non sequitor. It was a dream.