The end of the year means TV marathons. So far this holiday season I have subjected my brain to far more than the recommended dose of, the Met RX Strongest Man in the World Competition Highlights (go Pudzianowski !), the Deadliest Catch.. As much as I love the rare sight of watching men do manly stuff without harming or oppressing I couldn’t make it through more than a few episodes of either show because of the recent inclusion of foux hard core/ faux metal soundtracks. There is no more incongruous accompaniment to a man pulling up a trap full of Alaskan crabs while dodging a rogue wave in the Bering Sea than a “song” by Korn that sounds like it should be on the soundtrack of the sequel to The Crow. I should be listening to the roar of the ocean. Isn’t that why I have surround sound? Can’t I have a moment’s peace without being assaulted by bands whose man idea of antidisestablishmentarianism is to reverse the letters in their names and wear clown makeup while complaining about either sex or freedom or sexual freedom? I found the answer was no when I switched over to the Met RX competition for relief only to find that they were attempting to flog a soundtrack between events. When I am watching a 700 pound Swede fling ten 50 lb kegs over a fourteen foot high steel wall or his Norwegian counterpart pull a Mac truck with a shoulder harness the last thing I want is a Mastodon tune blaring in my ears. I don’t want a Hatebreed power ballad either. I want to hear the crowd cheering. If I can’t have that at and there must be electric guitars and angst can I at least get some Minor Threat, Metallica, Henry Rollins, or Steve Vai? I guess I am getting old.
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